遇上衝突，何去何從？

在我們的生活中，衝突是一種司空見慣的「正常」現象。人與人之間，由於​​不

同的觀點或不同的意見，常常會發生衝突。長期沒有衝突的關係很難發現，甚

至可能根本不存在。我們甚至會在不受外界的干擾下，也要面對來自自己內心

深處的衝突。

凡是人們共同活動的領域，總會產生不同意見，不同需求和不同利益的碰撞。

雖然，一般人都不喜歡衝突，但從積極方面去看，衝突也可以帶來很大的的轉

機和改進。關鍵就在於如何去面對它，如何去處理它，才能讓我們在應對衝突

的過程中能彼此學習，並取得正面成果。

所謂工欲善其事， 必先利其器，現在就讓我們去全面探索一下關於應對衝突的

5種工具，也就是我們面對衝突的五種模式：1.競爭2.迴避3.退讓4.妥協5. 協作。

這5種處理衝突的方式就是著名的衝突管理的“湯瑪斯—基爾曼”模型。我們先

來看看這5種競爭方式各有什麼特點：

首先讓我用一個檸檬的故事簡單解釋一下這5種解決衝突的模式的區​​別。

如果現在有一個檸檬，你想要，我也想要。若然我不管三七二十一，先把檸檬

搶到手，只滿足自己而不理會對方的，這就是「競爭」；如果我考慮到你更需要

這個檸檬，並且把檸檬讓給你。只滿足對方而不理會自己的，這就是「退讓」或

「禮讓」； 如果我不想在這檸檬的事情上有所爭吵，因此顧左右而言他，俗語

所謂打岔，這是「迴避」；如果我建議把檸檬掰開，一人一半，這就是「妥協

」；如果我們能坐下來共同探討怎樣分配這個檸檬，也許會是我要吃檸檬肉，

你要的是檸檬皮做糕點，這樣我們兩個人的需求都得到滿足。這種方式就是「

協作」或「協商」。

以下再給大家詳細說明一下：

1. 「競爭」往往發生於那些既重要又緊迫的事情上。每當一提起競爭，

我們都會想到一勝一負，或是兩敗俱傷的結局，因此會認為「競爭

」是不好的，不可取的。但事實並非如此，在一些情況下，在清楚

知道自己是正確的前題下，「競爭」策略是十分必要的。例如：小朋

友要玩火，你就要立刻採取「競爭」策略去阻止他。

2. 「迴避」一般是對那些不太緊迫的問題，不要以為「迴避」就是不負

責任，其實在生活或工作中，有時候採取「迴避」會有意想​​不到的

結果。在以下情況我們會建議採取迴避的策略，例如：1. 引起衝突

的事件不重要也不緊急；2. 當時還不是解決問題的時機，收集資訊

或判斷形勢，比立刻做決定更重要；3. 衝突雙方都在非理性的情緒

中；4.處理這個衝突會可能引發一個更大的衝突。這時「迴避」的

方法，可以是上洗手間或去喝杯水來冷靜一下。

3. 「退讓」適合於那些既不重要又不緊迫的事情，這我們通常可以採

取的方法，選擇「退讓」並不代表自己軟弱。退一步海闊天空，就是

指這種處理衝突的方法。採用這方法有時更需要智慧和寬容心。以

下的些情況，我們可以嘗試著選擇退讓，例如：1. 當別人帶給你的麻

煩，是你應該承受的。 2. 為了維護融洽的關係，如夫妻間的衝突。很

多時候為了保持家庭穩定，夫妻都會用「退讓」的方式來處理，因為

對錯往往並不重要，良好的關係才是最重要。最常見的衝突如去什

麼地方旅行或吃什麼菜。換句話說，選擇「退讓」，只是是為了愛護

對方。

4. 「妥協」是針對緊迫的問題而採用的策略。在下面這些情況我們可以

嘗試著選擇「妥協」，例如：1. 發覺過於堅持己見可能會造成更壞

的後果；2. 當對方承諾不再出現類似的問題時。 3. 當時間十分緊迫

需要採取其中一個方案時。 4. 當為了一個複雜問題達成暫時的和解

時。例如病人不願意吃藥，我們可以跟他談一些條件，或是給予一

些獎勵。這策略叫「妥協」。

5. 「協作」需要在雙方意願下才能有效的方式。協作需要花時間溝通並

深入了解問題，達成共識，滿足了彼此的期望。要達成協作的關鍵

在於雙方不再站在衝突的對立面上，而是攜手站在同一戰線上，共

同面對所遇到的問題。在這個前提下方能進一步溝通，通過積極耹

聽，提問，回饋這些溝通技巧，找出衝突的根本原因，明白對方真

實的需求並努力尋找共同的利益，尋找出一個大家都接受的解決方

案。

既然衝突是我們生活的一部分，無論我們喜歡與否都是要面對的。當我們認識

了5種處理衝突的方式，到底哪一種模式是處理衝突的首選？甚麼時候採用什麼

模式才可取得上好的效果？那麼就要嘗試應用一些不是您慣用的模式來處理人

際關係上的衝突。當我們再次面對衝突時，可以先停下來想一想，現在要處理

的衝突是什麼樣的衝突，處理方式還有別的更好的選擇嗎？

關心#48_P.18 & 19 版名：澄心款款 字數：1724

題目：處理衝突的5種模式


作者：張啟賢博士 (ICEHK 總監/ ABNLP認可NLP導師)

情感也能調控? 情緒治療法的數碼版

今天我被人罵了…..我生活不順利…..

如意…..

中的抱怨呢？面對這樣的情況，我們應該如何是好呢？

由於我們經常要處理自己或身邊朋友的情緒，所以我們運用了不

少應對技巧。其中有一種很簡單的方法，用來改變我們對事情的看法

，就是學習和應用次感元。

那麼，次感元是甚麼呢？原來，我們的大腦是用五種感官（

聽、嗅、味、觸。）來輸入資訊，用其中三種感元來保存資訊，這三

種感元分別是：視感元(Visual)、聽感元(Auditory)、觸感元

(Kinesthetic)。它們的縮寫是VAK。而科學家發現：雖然我們見到或者

想到一個人時，腦海裡會湧出一張面孔或一個聲音，其實這只不過是

很多很多微細資料的合成結果，而這些微細的資料，又是由一些更基

本的元素構成。這些從感元中再細分下來的基本元素被稱之為次感元

，也叫經驗元素，即是組成我們的經驗或記憶的基本元素。次感元，

是次級感官元素，也就是每個感元的具體化。例如：

1. 視感元的次感元有：

光亮度、大小、顏色、距離、清晰度、位置、對比、動或靜等。

2. 聽感元的次感元有：

來源方向、距離、速度、音量等。

3. 觸感元的次感元有：

壓力、位置、範圍、強度、溫度等。

每一項記憶，只涉及有關的基本元素。因此，不同的記憶，便有不同

的組合，而構成的元素則基本不變。我們腦裡所儲存的所有記憶，都

是由次感元構成。事情發生了，我們不能改變，但事情帶給我們的情

緒效應，我們可以憑改變構成記憶的次感元而將之改變，因為只要改

變次感元就可以改變我們對事物的看法，甚至改變我們對過往的記憶

的感受。

讓我們利用視覺作為例子來經驗一下次感元是甚麼：

首先回想一件使你憤怒的事情，把當時的情景在腦中重現，注意在腦

中這幅景象的一些特質：

1. 顏色：是黑白抑或彩色

2. 光暗：光線中的光或暗程度。

3. 距離：景像中的事物和你之間的距離（遠或近）

4. 清晰：景像中的事物的清晰度（清晰抑或模糊）

5. 大小：景像中的事物的大小

6. 畫面：景像是360度包圍著你，抑或像電視銀幕般有框邊的？

7. 動靜：景像是靜止抑或是活動(像電影)的？

8. 位置：景象(像照片)中心的事物，在你腦中的甚麼位置(左、右、

正中、上或下)

把上述的特質記下，然後想一些其他事，如今天吃了甚麼早餐（打

破狀態），再回想一次使你感到愉快的經驗，把當時的情景在腦中重

現，注意在腦中這幅景象的一些特質， 同時亦把它們記下其次感元。

從以上實驗我們便能發現到我們的內心感覺是由次感元決定的。其相

似的結果也刊登於2006年「自然」期刊。

好，現在讓我們來經驗一下怎樣運用改變次感元來改變我們的感受

：先閉上眼睛並想像一個愉快的經驗。當你在想像或回憶時，絕大部

份的朋友都能創造或回到一個愉快的情境、相片(圖象)、又或是影像？

當你在內在「看」到這影像時，可以嘗試把這影像圖片拉近一點，或

放大一點，或變亮一點……留意一下這些改變，會伴隨著甚麼樣的感

受？再想像一個不愉快的經驗，當這不愉快的影像、畫面出現時，把

它縮小、拉遠，或慢慢調暗，這又帶來甚麼樣的感受？如果想像這不

快的影像是一個銀幕畫面，讓這銀幕從角落慢慢燒起來，直到燒完剩

下灰燼……感受如何？如果把這銀幕捲成一團，丟到遠遠的後方……

感受又如何？

超過80%的受導者告訴我，那不愉快的感覺隨著不同的改變而減少

所以有一次當我要幫一個院友面對一些未來的難關時，就利用這個

技巧以不同的「心景」去面對。以下是治療的步驟：

1. 請他想起一個情境，一個未來的難關，並留意看到甚麼，聽到甚

麼和感覺到甚麼

2. 請他嘗試分多一個自己出來，站到自己後面

3. 請他如旁觀者一樣，看著自己在那情境中。如看電視般。

4. 請他想像在他分身和真我之間有一道落玻璃漸由天花下降，落在

他和他自己分身之間漸將玻璃加厚由四吋到六吋並一直加厚到一

呎，

5. 現在讓玻璃裡面的他和那人漸漸往後退，後退，再退到十呎到廿

呎以外，在另一方面他也同時讓他自己向後退，後退五呎到十呎

，再退到廿呎外

最後他會發現心情有所改善，並能以一個更積極的態度去面對那個

未來的難關。

運用改變次感元來改變我們感受的過程中，讓我們震撼的，不僅是

它的「神效」，而是它所揭露的層面，對人類主觀經驗的本質性和各

種可能性提供另類的思考。 它的影響能夠解除限制，帶來更多的選擇

和自由。透過經驗內在感官元素的重組，使我們能鬆動固有的觀念，

讓人們經驗到他還有別的選擇（由別的經驗組成）──原有的經驗並

非絕對和單一的。透過這樣的體驗和覺察，他或許有機會跳脫出來，

重新選擇和再決定──生命是可以自由的，因為它本是流動的。只要

我們能夠覺察，就會有自由和選擇，就能夠脫離時刻糾纏而又難以控

制的情緒或困擾。

【世界著名的教育孩子的12種方法】

【世界著名的教育孩子的12種方法】 我們身邊的孩子所需要的，不只是衣食無慮的生活環境，他們更需要大人陪伴他去“經歷”他的成長過程。

1、給孩子隨性玩耍的時間，不要把生活安排得太有規則 美國兒童教育學者湯姆斯·阿姆斯壯指出，自由玩耍比有計劃性的活動，對學齡前的孩子來說更為健康有益。父母要避免將孩子的時間塞滿各種活動，所有的孩子都需要有一些無所事事，隨性玩耍的時間。

 2、教導他關懷別人 快樂的孩子需要能感受到自己與別人有某些有意義的連結，了解到他對別人的意義。要發展這種感覺，可以幫助孩子多與他人接觸。你可以和孩子一起整理一些舊玩具，和他一起捐給慈善團體，幫助無家可歸的孩子。也可以鼓勵孩子在學校參與一些義工活動。專家指出，即使在很小的年齡，都能從幫助他人的過程中，獲得快樂，並養成喜歡助人的習慣。

3、鼓勵他多運動 陪你的孩子玩球、騎腳踏車、游泳……多運動不但可以鍛煉孩子的體能，也會讓他變得更開朗。保持動態生活可以適度緩解孩子的壓力與情緒，並且讓孩子喜歡自己，擁有較正面的身體形象，並從運動中發現樂趣與成就感。

4、笑口常開 常和孩子說說笑話、一起編些好笑的歌，和你的孩子一起開懷大笑，對你和孩子都有益處。光是大笑，就是很好的運動。

 5、有創意的讚美 當孩子表現很好時，不要只是說：“很好”。讚美要具體一些，說出細節，指出有哪些地方讓人印象深刻，或是比上次表現更好，例如，“你今天主動跟警衛伯伯說早安，真的很有禮貌”。 不過，讚美時也要注意，不要養成孩子錯誤的期待。有些父母會用禮物或金錢獎賞孩子，讓孩子把重點都放在可以獲得哪些報酬上，而不是良好的行為上。 父母應該讓孩子自己發現，完成一件事情所帶來的滿足與成就感，而不是用物質報酬來獎賞他。

6、確保孩子吃得健康 健康的飲食，不僅讓孩子身體健康，也能讓孩子的情緒較穩定。不論是正餐或點心，盡量遵循健康原則，例如：低脂、低糖、新鮮、均衡的飲食。


 7、激發他內在的藝術天份 多讓孩子接觸音樂、美術、舞蹈等活動，可以豐富孩子的內心世界。專家發現，當孩子隨音樂舞動、或是拿著畫筆塗鴉，其實都是孩子在抒發他的內在世界、表達他的情感。孩子喜歡畫畫、跳舞或彈奏音樂，也更易對自己感到比較滿意。8、常常擁抱 輕輕一個擁抱，傳達的是無限的關懷，是無聲的“我愛你”。研究發現溫柔的撫觸擁抱，可以讓早產兒變得較健康、較活潑，情緒也較穩定。對於大人而言，擁抱也能讓人減輕壓力，撫平不安的情緒。

8、常常擁抱 輕輕一個擁抱，傳達的是無限的關懷，是無聲的「我愛你」。研究發現，溫柔的撫觸擁抱，可以讓早產兒變得較健康、較活潑，情緒也較穩定。對於大人而言，擁抱也能讓人減輕壓力，撫平不安的情緒。


 9、用心聆聽 沒有什麼比用心聆聽更能讓孩子感受到被關心。想要當個更好的傾聽者嗎？不要只用一隻耳朵聽，當孩子對你說話時，盡量停下你手邊正在做的事情，專心聽他講話。要耐心聽孩子說完話，不要中途打斷、急著幫他表達或是要他快快把話說完，即使他所說的內容你已經聽過許多遍了。陪孩子去上學途中或哄孩子上床睡覺時，是最佳的傾聽時刻。

10、放棄完美主義 我們都期望孩子展現出他最好的一面，可是有時候太過急切糾正或改善他們的表現。例如：嫌棄他們沒把桌子擦乾淨，乾脆自己再擦一遍；或是糾正他們一定要把東西擺到一定位置。事事要求完美，會減弱孩子的自信心與不怕犯錯的勇氣。 下次當你忍不住想要參一腳，急著幫孩子把事情做的更好時，不妨先想想看：這件事跟健康或安全有關嗎？想像10年之後，這件事還有這麼嚴重嗎？如果是No，那麼就放手讓孩子去做吧。

11、教導他解決問題 從學會系鞋帶到自己過馬路，每一步都是孩子邁向更獨立的里程碑。當孩子 發現他有能力解決面對的問題，就能帶給他們快樂與成就感。當他遇到阻礙時，例如：被玩伴嘲笑或是無法拼好一塊拼圖時，你可有幾個步驟來幫助他： （1）確認他的問題。 （2）讓他描述他的解決方式。 （3）找出解決問題的步驟。 （4）決定讓他自己解決這個問題或提供一些幫助。 （5）確定他能獲得需要的協助。

12、給他表演的舞台 每個孩子都有特有的天賦，何不給他們機會表現一下？如果他們喜歡說故事，鼓勵他多說故事給你聽。如果他對數字很擅長，帶著他去逛街，讓他幫你挑選價格便宜的東西。當你能欣賞孩子的才能，並表現出你的熱情時，孩子自然會更有自信心。 我們身邊的孩子所需要的，不只是衣食無慮的生活環境而已，他們需要大人陪伴他去“經歷”他的成長過程。 網路轉載

Perception is projection ~ 我們所觀察的世界都是我們內心的投射

世上事物的發展,隱含著不少偶發因素,所以難以百分百肯定其中發生的因果和

必然性。雖然有很多不同的理論或經驗告訴我們有甚麼事情將會發生,但這些結

論都無法肯定哪是最好的。我們面對世事的不確定性,是怎樣決定事情的呢?

有一次筆者和太太及岳父岳母一家人上大陸旅遊時,看見對面街有一間買台灣

米線的小店,我岳父一看,就笑說「你們看,是珂士(痾屎)麵線...。」太太跟著

說「才不是呢,是阿士麵線...。」他們就是爭拗不休。一方說「我食鹽多過你食

米」,另一方則說「你是否需要帶老花眼鏡!」試想一下,我太太認為誰是對的呢?

當然是她自己;而我岳父又認為誰是對的呢?當然也是他自己。以過往經驗來說,

他們最少會爭拗一星期。所以我和岳母商討後,決定花少許時間,走到那店舖前

把事情弄明白。最後發現原來上面寫著「阿土麵線」。誰對誰錯?兩個都錯!但最

重要的不是對與錯,而是從中發現我們都不夠客觀。我們都是按照自己的內心世

界來決定事情。

那麼我們的內心世界是怎樣形成的呢?首先,我們的大腦透過五官接收外在的

事件(每秒約2百萬位元),然後,我們的大腦會自動對這些所接收的數據(事件)

進行處理。因為我們在同一時間需處理5-9組事件(約每秒134位元),在這個處

理的過程中會自動的進行刪減、扭曲和一般化。

第一部分:刪減

甚麼是刪減呢?我們的大腦在每秒鐘會接收到超過兩百萬的資訊流,這些資訊

數據太過龐大,因此我們的大腦需要對他們進行適當的刪減。例如在日常生活中

我們很多時候都會「眼大睇過龍」。

第二部分:扭曲

扭曲就是我們對於外面的資訊進行處理的時候,讓這個資訊變成為符合自己的

觀點與角度。上述亞土麵線就是一例。

第三部分:一般化

我們的大腦在處理數據的時候,還會有一個極為重要的功能,就是一般化(或稱

歸納法)。例如一竹竿打一船人。

從上述的模型來看,我們可以從同一的事情(物)上,看到、聽到和感覺到不同的

東西或意義出來。所以在互相溝通的時候,我們的詮釋不一定是對方心中所想的。

所以當我們下一次要判斷對方對或錯的時候,不妨給對方更多空間去解釋。因為

當大家討論問題時,很容易跌入二分思維,就是非黑即白,不是你錯就是我錯。

最常見的例子就是討論(discussion)問題時,可以是兩個都對又或是兩個都錯。所

以如果想有真正的對話(dialogue),我們就必須走出「我的」狹隘思維。因為討論

是有立場的,有可能帶來爭論;而對話則是沒有立場的,是透過聆聽從而帶來理

解。討論常指出對方的錯誤,希望改變對方;對話則以問題的澄清來支持對方。

多點對話,少點討論,可以增加彼此瞭解。

關係本來就是植根於信任,信任的基石就是澄心對話。每當我們打開心窗(澄心)

對話時,對方的說話就如迎面送來的清涼空氣,不再是爭拗。我們必須尊重每個

人的內心世界。人生的事情是多變的,沒有人能夠預計何人何時會有甚麼際遇,

或說出怎樣的話。人人不同,各人所說的都有各人認為的道理。在我們生命旅程

中有很多形形色色不同的人,包括我們的家人、伴侶、朋友、同事、師長、同學,

甚至乎不相識的陌生人。因有他們同行,我們在生命旅程中才不至感到孤單寂寞。

所以當我們與各人相遇的時候,就是一分相遇、相知、相識的情緣,足以為我們

每段人生旅程留下美好的回憶。

種一棵關心的樹 - 從澄心角度出發

種一棵關心的樹 - 從澄心角度出發

The more you like and respect yourself, the more you like
and respect others, and the more they like and respect you.
Brian Tracy 

澄心有靜心的意思，晉陸機「文賦」：「罄澄心以凝思，眇眾慮而為言。」唐王魯复逸句：「清泉繞屋澄心遠，曙月銜山出定遲。」。澄心的狀態給予空間反思：從而能幫助我們更瞭解自己的需要，更瞭解自己別人的需要。

先容許我提出一個問題：關懷/關心是怎麼樣發生的事呢？一般人接受關懷，是有「四步曲」的，首先關懷者從「聽到 /看到」被關懷者所需，繼而作出相關的「關懷行為」，然後被關懷者「傳釋」關懷者行為，隨後是感受到「關懷」(也有可能是別的感受 )，再作出回應── 這不是一個新的說法，但卻是被遺忘的現實。人提供關懷，往往從自身的角度或習慣出發，不能「聽到/看到」被關懷者真所需。關懷者要讓被關懷者感受到關懷，不只是作出一些「關懷者行為」就了事，還要看到對方真正的需要和瞭解被關懷者要如何「傳釋關懷者信息」。

現在先談所以如何「聽到/看到」 (關注)被關懷者真所需從而作出「真心的關懷行為」？在關注對方時，在知性以外，還要加上感性。「關注行為」應是在澄心的狀態下感受，才可「聽到 /看到關懷者」真正所需。如果澄心做得不好，被關懷者就沒有可能「感受關懷」。

尤其是對於關懷長期病人的，日復日，年復年。。。 在慣常的日常關懷中，會令我們對真實的感覺，知覺和反應越來越標準化，被動，麻木和遲鈍。對別人的關心變得自動化地習以為常，長久下去，反而會逐漸失去觀察內心真正需要的能力，缺乏敏銳的洞見。澄心的任務，就是要我們習以為常的世界變得活潑。由於澄心地觀察世界是給人一種新鮮及奇特的感覺，這可使我們對身邊的人有一種煥然一新的感覺。這種清新的感覺可能使我們更真實和直接地經驗和接觸到他人真實的內心世界。

(如何達致澄心的狀態:首先留意自己的呼吸和當下的狀態，再給予空間自己及對方，最後是用心及清潔地觀察，聆聽對方。 所以如果我們想重啟我們的澄心狀態是有三個重點的，1) 處境與感受: 我們需要不了解並且意識到彼此的處境並真誠地表達內心的感受， 從而向對方提出的切的慰問。2) 保護與相信: 面對這個艱難的時刻， 彼此需要把持一分信念， 就是相信大家的關係並堅守合一的心。3) 喜樂與平安: 心中要緊記， 關懷的行為是要讓對方感受到喜樂與平安的， 並不是簡單的為了關懷者能夠付出關懷而滿足。)

另外在我們關心別人的時候，我們須留意被關懷者如何「傳釋」關懷者的行為。因為很多時候我們都會理性地分析事情。事實上，與其說我們的生命是有理論以及一大堆密集和復雜的知識系統組合而成，不如說我們的生命是由一個又一個的故事所組成的。的而且確我們不是從理論發展出來。更不能從理論去了解、關懷和滋養自己。理論是我們諒解自己 /別人行為的一些工具。而從每一個個體獨特的經歷的故事中，我們便能理解每一個個體的獨特生命。所以我們的是透過講述及聆聽一些屬於自己及屬於別人的生命故事來確立關心及滋養生命。在基督教，我們的主耶穌就是說故事大師。他非常擅長用比喻來關心別人。這種說故事的特點就是不強迫別人接受，若有人聽了她願意接受的，就得著關懷和滋養。

後現代社會所產生的思想及價值觀，對我們如何去關心別人士帶來一種很大的衝擊。現今多元化的社會堙A我們應該給予別人，包括自己，更大的空間。所以一些活生生的見證以及個人生命的見證，往往被一些理論可能更能夠關心別人的心靈。當我們要關心別人時，聆聽，講故事可能遠比一些學說或理論更有說服力。因為說故事能給予被關懷者一個極大的空間去「傳釋」關懷者的的意義。

所以大部分人能夠接受的關懷，大都是透過個人經歷，故事和見證而來的。現今的時刻，我們必須正視我們在關心別人的土壤中的荊棘和石頭(如: 個人主義)。因此我們關心別人的時候必須從別人的角度出發。種一棵關心的樹，要真心的關懷是無法速成的，正如聖經上所說的，要快快的聽，慢慢的說。要在心中種一棵關心的樹，我們需要有長遠的眼光。

10 Mind-Blowing Videos Every Entrepreneur Must Watch

In just a few minutes, a powerful video can help shape your life and chart the direction of your business.

Read more: http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/10-mind-blowing-videos-every-entrepreneur-must-watch.html#ixzz3AA1HL4VT

 

When executed well, inspirational, educational, and motivational lectures and lessons are extremely powerful. Why? Because they express what we know, recognize, feel, believe, think, accept, imagine, hope, fear, desire, acknowledge, and/or have experienced as a life truth. They help us to understand that we are not alone and offer the hope we all need to plow through life's challenges to achieve our dreams.

Today I gathered some of my favorite videos in the hope that you will find just the inspiration you need to accomplish your next great thing. Enjoy!

1. The Last Lecture

Dr. Randy Pausch had only months to live when he gave this powerful and uplifting speech. Yes, you read that right: It is uplifting. It's not a talk about death, but rather about how to live.

My favorite quote: "Don't complain, just work harder--you can choose to take your finite time and effort and spend it complaining,- or you can spend it playing the game hard."

2. The Power of Vulnerability

Storyteller/researcher Brene Brown studies human connection: our ability to empathize, belong, and love. This is a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston where she shares deep insights about vulnerability--something every entrepreneur needs to master--and her personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

My favorite quote: "There is only one variable between people who really have a sense of worthiness, love, and belonging and the folks who struggle for it. Those people who have a strong sense of belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging."

3. Power of Introverts

Writer and lecturer Susan Cain offers powerful insights on the expectations placed on introverts in a culture that prizes social and outgoing personalities. You'll be pleasantly surprised with her research and discoveries that demonstrate the talent and abilities brought to this world by introverted people.

My favorite quote: "When psychologists look at the lives of the most creative people, what they find is that they are very good at advancing and exchanging ideas, but they also have a serious streak of introversion in them. This is because solitude is a crucial ingredient to creativity."

4. Coca-Cola Security Cameras

This little clip by Coca-Cola is a playful break to boost your confidence in mankind. It will also help to shape your perspective on how you market your brand. Notice that this promotion has little to do with the Coca-Cola brand and everything to do with touching and stimulating your emotions.

5. The Puzzle of Motivation

If you offer incentives and other traditional rewards for performance, you're doing it all wrong. Notable author and ex-chief speechwriter at the White House, Dan Pink, examines the puzzle of motivation and makes a case for rethinking how we run our businesses. He offers a thought-provoking idea for a new operating system for businesses that revolves around three principles: autonomy, mastery, and purpose.

My favorite quote: "So many of our businesses don't work. It's not a feeling, it's not a philosophy, this is a fact. Incentives dull thinking and block creativity."

6. How Great Leaders Inspire Action

Simon Sinek presents a simple but powerful model for how leaders inspire action, starting with a golden circle and the question "Why?" With examples including Apple, Martin Luther King, and the Wright brothers, Sinek will inspire you to connect with the "why" behind what you do.

My favorite quote: "People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it."

7. Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shares a very emotional, inspirational life story in this video. You'll see evidence that body language affects how others see us and may also change how we see ourselves. Fascinating research shows how "power poses" can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

My favorite quote: "Don't fake it until you make it, fake it till you become it."

8. The Top 10 Mistakes of Entrepreneurs

Guy Kawasaki shares surprising mistakes and misconceptions that you've probably experienced while growing your business. You don't have to run a startup to learn from this one.

My favorite quote: "The moment you take outside money, you have lost control of your company. Fifty one percent is an illusion of control; if you can't deal with that, don't take outside money."

9. The Greatest TED Talk Ever Sold

Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock has placed himself in difficult, even dangerous positions to examine societal issues in a way that make them interesting and entertaining. Here he dives into the hidden, but influential world of brand marketing on his quest to make a completely sponsored film about sponsorship. (And yes, onstage naming rights for this talk were sponsored, too. By whom, and for how much? He'll tell you.)

My favorite quote: "When you train your employees to be risk-averse, you're preparing your whole company to be reward-challenged."

10. All It Takes Is 10 Mindful Minutes

When was the last time you did absolutely nothing for 10 whole minutes? Mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe will convince you that refreshing your mind for 10 minutes a day will impact your entire life. Meditation will help you gain a different perspective.

My favorite quote: "We spend more time taking care of our clothes and cars than we do our minds."

Thanks to a few of my favorite entrepreneurs for their input: Dan Schawbel, Rachel Luna, and Shawne Duperon.

What videos have helped to shape the way you think and succeed? Please share!

IMAGE: SHUTTERSTOCK

LAST UPDATED: AUG 11, 2014

Read more: http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/10-mind-blowing-videos-every-entrepreneur-must-watch.html#ixzz3AA1MA6ve

75 Inspiring Motivational Quotes on Leadership

Leadership is lonely. No matter how big your team, sometimes it's just you--which means you sometimes need to look inside yourself for motivation and inspiration.

Or you can find personal inspiration from someone who has been there, done that...and done it well.

Here are some of my favorite leadership quotes. Tweet them, share them, but most important, use them to help you become an even better leader than you already are.

1. "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." Eleanor Roosevelt
2. "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." William Arthur Ward
3. "It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse." Adlai E. Stevenson II
4. "Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be."Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. "Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others." Robert Louis Stevenson
6. "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." Ronald Reagan
7. "Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women."Groucho Marx
8. "Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you're the boss. Or they won't. Who cares? Do your thing, and don't care if they like it." Tina Fey
9. "Power isn't control at all--power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn't someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own." Beth Revis
10. "Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results." George S. Patton Jr.
11. "I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men." Lao Tzu
12. "Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." Dwight D. Eisenhower
13. "Victory has a hundred fathers and defeat is an orphan. John F. Kennedy
14. "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." Peter F. Drucker
15. "You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." Woodrow Wilson
16. "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." Albert Schweitzer
17. "Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." John C. Maxwell
18. "The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones." Brandon Sanderson
19. "Leadership is not about titles, positions, or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another." John C. Maxwell
20. "You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you're not passionate enough from the start, you'll never stick it out." Steve Jobs
21. "A leader... is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind." Nelson Mandela
22. "Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off." Colin Powell
23. "Do you know that one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas."Margaret Thatcher
24. "A leader is a dealer in hope." Napoleon
25. "The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it."Theodore Roosevelt
26. "I don't see myself being special; I just see myself having more responsibilities than the next man. People look to me to do things for them, to have answers." Tupac Shakur
27. "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see." Henry David Thoreau
28. "I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself." Robert E. Lee
29. "The day the soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership." Colin Powell
30. "Consensus: The process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies in search of something in which no one believes, but to which no one objects; the process of avoiding the very issues that have to be solved, merely because you cannot get agreement on the way ahead. What great cause would have been fought and won under the banner: 'I stand for consensus?' " Margaret Thatcher
31. "A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be." Rosalynn Carter
32. "There is a difference between being a leader and being a boss. Both are based on authority. A boss demands blind obedience; a leader earns his authority through understanding and trust." Klaus Balkenhol
33. "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." Nancy D. Solomon
34. "In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are." Max De Pree
35. "We're here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark." Whoopi Goldberg
36. "A leader isn't someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others so that they may have the strength to stand on their own." Beth Revis
37. "Always remember, Son, the best boss is the one who bosses the least. Whether it's cattle, or horses, or men; the least government is the best government."Ralph Moody
38. "If you really want the key to success, start by doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing." Brad Szollose
39. "Give as few orders as possible," his father had told him once long ago. "Once you've given orders on a subject, you must always give orders on that subject." Frank Herbert (from Dune)
40. "The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes." Tony Blair
41. "Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through." Jarod Kintz
42. "In a battle between two ideas, the best one doesn't necessarily win. No, the idea that wins is the one with the most fearless heretic behind it." Seth Godin
43. "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea." Antoine de Saint-Exupery
44. "Remember teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability." Patrick Lencioni
45. "No guts, no story." Chris Brady
46. "Leadership is an action, not a position." Donald McGannon
47. "Surround yourself with great people; delegate authority; get out of the way" Ronald Reagan
48. "I cannot give you a formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: try to please everybody." Herbert Bayard Swope
49. "Show me the man you honor and I will know what kind of man you are." Thomas John Carlisle
50. "The challenge of leadership is to be strong but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly." Jim Rohn
51. "A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason." J.P. Morgan
52. "If you spend your life trying to be good at everything, you will never be great at anything." Tom Rath
53. "Average leaders raise the bar on themselves; good leaders raise the bar for others; great leaders inspire others to raise their own bar." Orrin Woodward
54. "Don't blow off another's candle for it won't make yours shine brighter." Jaachynma N.E. Agu
55. "Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision." Peter F. Drucker
56. "When you put together deep knowledge about a subject that intensely matters to you, charisma happens. You gain courage to share your passion, and when you do that, folks follow." Jerry Porras
57. "A good leader leads the people from above them. A great leader leads the people from within them." M.D. Arnold
58. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr.
59. "The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet." Father Theodore M. Hesburgh
60. "It is absolutely necessary...for me to have persons that can think for me, as well as execute orders." George Washington
61. "When eagles are silent, parrots begin to chatter." Winston Churchill
62. "A leader takes people where they would never go on their own." Hans Finzel
63. "You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case." Ken Kesey
64. "A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd." Max Lucado
65. Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position. Brian Tracy
66. I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. Ralph Nader
67. Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. Publilius Syrus
68. A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
69. "My job is not to be easy on people. My job is to take these great people we have and to push them and make them even better." Steve Jobs
70. People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision. John Maxwell
71. To have long-term success as a coach or in any position of leadership, you have to be obsessed in some way. Pat Riley
72. A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. John Maxwell
73. A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.George Patton
74. Earn your leadership every day. Michael Jordan
75. Success at the highest level comes down to one question: "Can you make the choice that your happiness can come from someone else's success?" No one has qualities like courage, vision, charisma, adaptability, and decisiveness in equal measure. But every great leader does make the same decision--and so can you. Jeff Haden (sorry, couldn't resist)

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@JEFF_HADEN

JEFF HADEN | Columnist

Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business.